It could be worse!!!
Feeling crap about your job well read the following job descriptions... It should make you feel a bit better about life!!!
ORGAN GRINDER MONKEY
Ideal for: musically inclined primates
Job specifications: You wear a ridiculous jacket and wave stupidly at passers-by while your boss plays the same music everyday. You try to look cute. You do tricks and charm the audience. You stop yourself from biting stupid children who poke at you and make funny faces.
Drawbacks: Day in, day out, you listen to the same music about 50 times a single day.
Perks: You get paid peanuts. Which is okay, since that’s what you want.
MOSQUITO RESEARCHER
Ideal for: sadomasochists.
Job Specifications: Most mosquito researchers have it easy: set the traps, go inside the tents, and have a cold bottle of beer before calling it a day. But the Brazilian mosquito, Anopheles darlingi, seems to have caught on. This little “sucker” only comes a-hovering when you set yourself up as bait. While this experiment is fairly simple—sit on a chair, and catch the bugs that bite you—be prepared for a lot of itching and a mind-bogglingly boring night. This is what you spent 3 years on your masters thesis to do?
Drawbacks: In just three hours, you’ll deal with 500 mosquitoes, and be bitten about 3,000 times. Not fun. Especially if any of them happen to carry malaria, where you’ll spend about two or three years recovering from the effects.
Perks: At least they’re mosquitoes, not poisonous frogs, piranhas, or black widow spiders. Plus, the opportunity to travel is pretty good. Since you’re in Brazil anyway, head for the tourist traps and reward yourself with a few days of sunning on a bright, golden and relatively bug-free beach.
BLUE CHEESE FACTORY WORKER
Ideal for: the gastronomically uneducated with no sense of smell.
Job specifications: Most food processing technology is geared towards the prevention of moulds; But since the pungent flavour and aroma of blue cheese is derived from letting it decay, you’re essentially handling commercial amounts of rotting cheese.
Drawbacks: The good news is that you have all the cheese you ever wanted. The bad news is that you’ll never want to eat cheese again in your life. Especially since the smell sticks to your clothes and hair. Probably best to tell you that scent is carried by microscopic amounts of that substance travelling down your nostrils, and the fact that you smell like blue cheese means that your body is covered by very small, but very many, molecules of mould.
Perks: If ever you get hungry, you can always grab a bite to eat.
